I don’t agree with this “He wins and I lose”. In what way he wins and you lose? Or how would it look if you win and he lost? What would be different? Marriage is not working. You are divorcing. There’s no winning or losing competition.

Well what if you look you are crazy and unstable. What difference does it make? They hold some authority over you? Moral judgement?

You vent to your friend and he vents to his. That’s not wrong. That’s what people do. And these people very obviously are his friends not yours (she didn’t even reply). So what they think of you is non sequential. Let them talk.

Pack his stuff. If he has friends they can come and help him move. Be ready to leave yourself if need to if he does crazy. But this back and forth just can’t go on