Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I don’t agree with this “He wins and I lose”. In what way he wins and you lose? Or how would it look if you win and he lost? What would be different? Marriage is not working. You are divorcing. There’s no winning or losing competition.
Well what if you look you are crazy and unstable. What difference does it make? They hold some authority over you? Moral judgement?
You vent to your friend and he vents to his. That’s not wrong. That’s what people do. And these people very obviously are his friends not yours (she didn’t even reply). So what they think of you is non sequential. Let them talk.
Pack his stuff. If he has friends they can come and help him move. Be ready to leave yourself if need to if he does crazy. But this back and forth just can’t go on
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I don't know how it seems like I lose and he wins - I lost control of myself and did something that will only just piss him off and give him ammunition to use against me. I got drunk and texted his female friend. I wanted to prove something and stand up for myself, and now I fear it will backfire. He can hold it against me and hold it over my head, which only just gives him more power. I am trying to take back my power, not lose it. In abusive situations, the abuser always wants all the power and control. And that's what our relationship has been about for HIM - there's no equality.
I feel very fragile today as a result - like extremely fragile.