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Old Oct 16, 2022, 10:13 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
I don't know how it seems like I lose and he wins - I lost control of myself and did something that will only just piss him off and give him ammunition to use against me. I got drunk and texted his female friend. I wanted to prove something and stand up for myself, and now I fear it will backfire. He can hold it against me and hold it over my head, which only just gives him more power. I am trying to take back my power, not lose it. In abusive situations, the abuser always wants all the power and control. And that's what our relationship has been about for HIM - there's no equality.

I feel very fragile today as a result - like extremely fragile.
I understand you are upset. But he’s going to hold it over your head in what way? What power does he have if you two are divorcing anyways.

He’d only have power if somehow it would effect divorce proceedings outcome or custody issues if you appear unstable. That’s not the case so what power does he have? His friends wife will agree with him that you crazy. So? Your friends think he’s awful and his friends think you are. Who cares? Relationship is over, marriage will be over hopefully soon.

I understand it’s embarrassing you sent those texts. But we’ve all been there in one way or the other. In a long run none of it matters. Expedite divorce and you never have to see him again.
Thanks for this!
Have Hope, unaluna