He cant "constantly lie" to you if you go no-contact.

Idk. If you continue to attend functions where he is, yes, you ARE going to look a little crazy. Like you want to keep him in your life. You wont want to see him with another partner, will you?

If you do become more active, he cant follow you to YOUR events. Like A running or biking group. Im not buying the argument that the taste in music is so specialized. I live in a college town, and there are multiple music events every night. You cant have your cake and eat it too.

Also, to whom are you "standing up for yourself?" You wont need to do that until you meet St Peter at the pearly gates! As gertrude stein said, "There's no 'there' there." Nobody is keeping score. It only matters to you, and thats enough!

When you engage with someone who is lying, there is no way in heck you can mount a reasonable defense. They are cheating, verbally speaking. Like trying to win at poker when playing with cheaters. You are only crazy for choosing to participate when you KNOW you can only lose. Why are you stuck in playing that game? You wouldnt IRL. "Know when to walk away..."

I understand you wanting him to see things your way. But thats not how it works. You cant change a person. You CAN change to a different partner. You CAN find someone who sees things the way you do. You just need to follow Maya Angelou's rule, when someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time. This is why there are Democrats and Republicans - how many of them can be converted to the other party? There is no ONE right way. Again, unless you are facing st peter.

Just a few days after my first wedding, i was trying to figure out how to go back to university so i could join the track team. I thought it would be easy to just run faster than the other women. Obviously, i just wanted to run away from my situation! But i had no insight at the time.