I wasn't the only one who got hurt back then (as far as I believe). It seems much more difficult to give up pain I caused versus pain I went through. Yes, it caused a lot of mishap in my life. I believe I would have amounted to something great, a scientist, if this hadn't happened. But that's not the part I can't let go. I'm fine not being some awe inspiring creature, I just want a quiet life now, peace etc. To expand upon your metaphore, I've burnt the letters I received, but I cannot burn the ones I sent.

T suggested I could look into the possibility of working for a NGO or something, make up for the pain I caused. I don't know though. I don't trust myself to work in such a place. What if I am still the person I was all those years ago? What if history is to repeat itself?