I reread this whole thread this morning to refresh my memory about the last six months or so of my life, to see where I was and how it compares to where I am now. I reread my texts with him over the last couple months as well.

Filled me with a lot of anxiety and stress, but I think it was worth the revisit.

Its hasnt been all glassy seas without husband here, but has been very calm.

my son moved back home last week or so. The three of us have been very much enjoying our time together. I dont know how long he'll stay, but the kids and i have been repairing our family life together and I am loving every minute of it. Son is working a lot, daughter is doing well in school, and both are overcoming obstacles and working well through regular life challenges. The time we spend together is very normal and good.

"Husband" has been sending a couple hundred a week for like six weeks in row, so thats been helpful. We've had a couple stupid texts and a couple whatever texts. He doesnt ask about the kids, our lives or anything else. I dont ask him what he is up to. He doesnt reach out to daughter much, hasnt reached out to her at all for like 2-3 wks. she still has bad dreams of him coming back. I dont know long he can maintain his current situation. its hard to believe he could be getting along with someone for very long, unless they are a door mat, mommy type, or just like him. Or maybe they don't cross paths much.

i still agonize a bit about the house situation. i'm getting past the "guilt" of being here. i want to be comfortable, want my daughter to be comfortable, and that is okay. that is good. we should enjoy being comfortable while it lasts!!!!!

if i decide to buy him out, im not sure there is an advantage to trying to buy him out asap vs down the road like in a year. Down the road is my vote. I just want to keep watching what happens with him before I go through efforts or strap myself with a bigger payment. i want to build up my reserves.

i still need to file for divorce. I am feeling so much more secure as each week passes...