Wow, that would make me feel invalidated for sure - to say that I have a fear I've done something bad and to hear "no, you haven't". I can see where T might be trying to make you "feel better" but that just doesn't seem like the way to go about it.

I totally agree with the previous posters. I would absolutely, no question, tell T how it made me feel. He needs a different approach...it's his job to figure out what that is. But it's your job to tell him that what he's doing isn't helpful, so he can try something different.

((((((((((((( pachyderm ))))))))))))) I'm glad you shared what's going on with us.