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Ack, I just read my last post (my own check-in) & it was...what was it called on Facebook years ago..."vague posting" or something.
Anyway, thank you for your support regarding my sister's dementia. At the rate she's declining I don't expect things to be easy for my family. I'm sure I will learn a lot. It would be nice to learn on my own terms, though. That would be really nice.
Anyway. I've been physically unwell for 2 days because in 40 years I have not (speaking of learning) been able to accept David's behavior toward me, and the extent to which I take it in makes me literally have moderate flu-like symptoms. He has severe OCD, a whopping case of ADHD, and PTSD from combat in Vietnam. Although he's been diagnosed by the VA (vet admin) and they, of course, offer all sorts of fabulous, free assistance, David refuses treatment. No therapy, no medication. Just prayer. Prayer that stubbornly refuses to ease my life.
I am a patient person. Oftentimes in my life it has come to light that I was patient when I would have done better to set a good, clear boundary of No more.
The patience it has taken to be David's wife for 4 decades, well, only love could sustain such endurance. Love- and the need to have the rent paid. Since he refuses to acknowledge his disorders, how can he possibly appreciate a wife who patiently tolerates them? The answer is: he cannot.
In short- that was why I was writing about being tired of being demeaned, etc., etc. whatever else I wrote. Thank you for listening, kids, and have a good night. Easy.
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