When I think about it, the people who have hurt me by far the most in my life were not at all malicious people. They were really nice people who just ended up manipulating me or dragging me into their problems. In fact, I've often said that in the end, I prefer malicious people to such "nice" people--and these people were truly, genuinely, sincerely nice, with no hidden nastiness, but somehow they were really sloppy about things and it always ended up involving me. I would argue that at least people who are malicious, if they like and respect and value you, they can in theory choose to treat you well and not be malicious toward you. Whereas these "nice" but extremely destructive people can't make that choice, because they're not intentionally hurting you, all the mess and pain they create for the people around them just sort of happens by virtue of being close to them.


So I'm just trying to argue that there are also very destructive people who are not malicious. And that even if you have some malicious feelings or anger, you can choose not to act on them.