Quote:
Originally Posted by *Beth*
Ugh, I'm so sorry, Birdie. I also have huge anxiety about cops. I mean, I'll be honest...there have been times in my life when an officer truly helped me out and for that, I am very grateful. That said, my interactions with police have usually been stressful and just plain not good.
The last straw, the one that really caused me to have a serious (and valid) mistrust of cops was when I was "arrested to the hospital." 5 years ago I was having a breakdown, due mostly to my sister's death. I was sui and just plain unglued. I foolishly got on Facebook and posted about how I was feeling. My cousin called 911 (not wise). The cops came and although I was in no way violent or resistant, those two big guys literally jumped on me, shoved me down, and handcuffed me. Pushed me into the small back on their police SUV and took me to the hospital, where I was held for 24 hellish hours.
Since that awful experience all I have to do is see a cop and the terror of that night rushes in at me.
Have you had a specific(s) bad incident with the police that causes you to feel afraid of them?
|
Yeah I had talked to someone about being sui and they called the police on me without me knowing about it too. So by time they came I was hiding in my bathroom. I was 14 at the time. I had overdosed/attempted suicide. And they were pounding on the door like maniacs. I already deal with paranoia and I didn't know who was at the door because it was 2am in the morning, I was crying and throwing up from all the meds I had taken. I had never been to a psych hospital prior to that, or dealt with cops ever. Anyway, the banging on the door nonstop at 2am loud as **** and not announcing who they were or why they were there made me think there were people out to get me. Then when I saw it was police I thought I was being arrested (I have paranoia about that). One of the police was laughing at me when I was in the ambulance getting my stomach pumped because I had been crying so hard that there was a lot of snot on my nose but they wouldn't let me wipe it off
Another situation, was when my therapist called the cops on me and had them do a mental inquest warrant on me when I was 18 or 19. The cop said if I tried anything he wouldn't hesitate to pull over on the side of the highway and handcuff me. I don't know why he said that or was being kind of aggressive. I wasn't being violent. Was just delusional about the fbi and suicidal. Then while I was riding in the back of the police car he said if I had God in my life I wouldn't have these problems. Which just was a weird thing to say.
So not super traumatic experiences, but those combined with my paranoia make me sometimes start to think they'll come after me and arrest me. Any time I hear a siren or an unexpected knock at my door I immediately panic.
Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type