Yes, but again I would argue that this affected your life, not anyone elses. If you had children and they were traumatised in the course of that marriage, I would find it relatable. Then I would ask how you forgave yourself. However, still, it seems different, as I am not the victim, but the potential perpetrator and no matter how long I have worked on overcoming my violent fantasies, they always come back. They are a part of me, now and seemingly always. So it is not just about regretting the past, it is about fearing what I am capable of for the future. How can I trust myself?

My father has this, too. He let it go when he was 70 or something. Frankly, he let it go when he was too weak to act upon his fantasies, which sounds about right.

All that being said, I think you did a good thing, and I find it awesome.