Hello Sushi,

I have no advice, but so much sympathy for you. I'm feeling very similar things, although it's been less than two months for me. Early on, I had some very positive, hopeful days, that unfortunately now just seem to me in retrospect like some kind of shock reaction.

I started off being very open and agreeable with just about everyone as I felt my world had to expand and accept everyone since I was losing basically the only source of validation in my life.


But lately I have become unbelievably impatient, especially with family. I've been getting angry with those who are really practically helping me over small things, being very blunt with my feelings, and I've walked out of someone's home because they started to bicker in front of me. I've become intolerant of things and am extremely quick to get angry now if I'm misunderstood - even if someone just mishears me.


Speaking of things not to be proud of since the separation, I actually had a minor physical fight with someone on the day my partner left. A vandal, I still think he deserved it, but it was an insane thing to do.

Perhaps these things are a part of us trying to prove we just don't care. Of course, I do care, it's all just bitterness.

I had almost a great day yesterday, but feel really lonely and jealous again today.


I hope you and everybody reading can find some peace and balance. I suppose our lives are only very small and suffering is so basic to human beings, I try to practice not seeing life itself as very serious, but it's rare to truly feel that way. But as a temporary coping mechanism sometimes I can kid myself that life is just a silly little thing.