Hi Kit,

I'm sorry your session was such a mess.
Even if you are not paying a fee for your session (I don't understand the American system, so please excuse me if I have that wrong...) she is still supposed to be professional.

I can appreciate that T was concerned about her daughter, and yet when she is in session...you should be her priority. Especially in the circumstances you describe.

Helping you figure out how to move forward is important, so that you can build on the successes you have had.

You're doing really well, and that's something worth trying to hold on to. The therapeutic relationship should be a tool to help you do that.

I'm not saying that you are beholden to T as a reason not to hurt yourself, but rather within that relationship, there should be a sense of support that you can lean on when you have those thoughts.

If she's not able to provide that consistently, then maybe it would be better for you to find a T who can offer in-person, in office sessions.

It sounds like you would benefit from that kind of container. I appreciate that you are attached to your T, but is she really capable of providing what you need most right now?

Also, your feelings are your feelings. 'Your feelings can't be wrong', as R often reminds me.


Hugs,

Lost