When you've been in a long term relationship, people tend to evolve. But if our communication does not evolve with it, that can usually lead to this feeling of displacement. I would be willing to bet your spouse feels the same way. My wife and I had that problem in our marriage and discovered that so much of it came from raising kids. We were both so exhausted by the end of the day, we just had no energy left to consider anything for ourselves. We ended up picking a night each week ,or every other week ,when we would have a date night. I would take her to dinner and the movies and we would share that moment devoid of the calendar and events of that day. We got back to basics instead of looking for a villain in the matter. That got us back on track in terms of understanding we still wanted the best for each other and ourselves. We just had to make time to get ourselves back into that process we had given up for everyone else.