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I tend to cut out all the "noise" with situations like screaming matches and family. Whatever she is saying is noise..no meaning. What she is saying about who, what, where, or when...noise. You only need to set your boundaries and expectations, say what will happen if those boundaries are crossed and expectations not met.
So for example:
" I will not listen to you vent anymore, or yell and hollar and bad mouth people. If you are mistreated you need to talk to them not me. if you cant respect me enough to do that then we will have no calls, or very short ones. I will have to limit the time I spend with you" The FOLLLOW through
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"I carried a watermelon?"
President of the no F's given society.
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