How this resonates with me!

My mother has been like this all her life. Even worse now her physical health is poor. But everyone else is at fault. Her mother was nasty, yet my mother cannot see she is the same. I've been on the receiving end of her unacceptable behaviour over the years and now, at 60+, it should be time for me to enjoy my life hassle-free.

I don't expect praise for helping her, but when it's given, it doesn't make me feel good. Instead I think it's false as it often leads to unfounded criticism. I'm also on receiving end of her displeasure with other family members. So, why doesn't she tackle them about it? Something she can't answer.

We haven't had a row for at least two months because I really lost it last time. Not shouting, just something I said. I wondered how I could possibly be her daughter. With hearing difficulties, she heard me say this behind a closed door, so must have been standing outside it. This will be thrown back at me at some point. Have recently told her that I'm not apologising for who I am. Just because she has a closed mind, doesn't mean I'm going to be the same.

So, she's getting more help from my brother and sister-in-law. That's not working out as she planned. Things he's supposed to be doing aren't getting done. Who does she moan to? Me! making excuses how busy he is at home and work.

Yes, it may all be just noise, but when it's being done to make you more malleable then it's controlling.

Hold on to your self-esteem. It's good that you recognise your mother's unacceptable behaviour.