For me, both Father's Day and Mother's Day are difficult events. As previous messages have shown, they can be difficult events for many people, for various reasons. In my case, my parents were abusive, and that makes it uncomfortable from my perspective.

I have found a different way to think of these holidays as an adult, which has helped me. My solutions may not work for everyone, and it doesn't resolve everything for me. But it helps. I have some nice friends in my life who are good parents to their children - working to make healthy families. I choose a couple of generic Father's Day or Mother's Day cards (depending on the holiday) and send them to my friends, and thank them for their efforts to be loving parents for their children. To me, it feels good to support my friends, and honor their work as parents. It helps me remember that there *are* folks out there who are working to provide healthy and loving homes for their children, and I get to feel as if I'm participating in the holiday in a tiny way instead of feeling left out, if this makes sense. And my friends feel thankful for the support too. So it's win-win. For me, it's helped me feel better about these holidays a bit. I also try to plan good, healthy activities on those days that I know I'll enjoy. At least that's how I've come to deal with it, at any rate.

My thoughts go out to everyone who will be having a rough time on Father's Day.

Take care,
ErinBear