First, I apologize for this rambling post. I'm not severely depressed right now (thankfully) but as I used to be quite active in this forum I wanted to try to offer something... I came back to delete my post ... but I'll leave it just in case the presence of another might offer some small comfort.

I hope that there will be others who will reply and offer some truly comforting words (I am not good with words sometimes... like right now)

I'm sorry you're struggling. I don't read here very much lately, yes I've sometimes felt I'm ''complaining''... I rarely post anything here any more. Your pain is important, it's not ''just whining'' as someone somewhere once said to me.... I will not quote their complaining post to/about me. Please don't let anyone, including your inner critic,, bully you into silence. It' actually ''brave'' to reach out, who knows who is going to reply, it could be a 'wonderful reply with deep empathy for the pain of others, as the post above

or sometimes it might be less than compassionate. As you've found out though, most people here are kind and thoughtful.

I used to take meds for depression but can no longer tolerate them. I truly hope you find something that helps

Off topic

I once posted somewhere else i thought i was basically a ''good'' person, or at least i tried to be. The first reply was a trollish reply saying I probably wasn't ''good'' as I was ''convinced'' I was.... ''people usually''..., yeah ok.

I'm sorry, this probably isn't helpful although I had wanted to help. Please forgive my complaining post. (I've also been called ''a very quiet person, too passive', too needy, too talkative, too quiet...'' and all sorts of other things. Basically it doesn't matter if you are ''complaining'' or not, if it helps even a little to post, please keep posting. I'm not sure if you're seeing a therapist (?)

Trying to live in the moment does help me sometimes, in fact I'm overall doing better than I was some years ago. I send you love and hope

(and I apologize for the long and partly off topic post... I'm not the ''best'' poster here, especially right now