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Appointment with med dude this afternoon. He was in good form, friendly. We discussed, he concluded that my meds are okay where they are...which is Lamictal, Gabapentin, and the monkey on my back, K-pin. The time for me to come off Klonopin is long, long, way overdue. Since stopping on my own ends up with awful w/d effects I'll be seeing a specialist who will set up a situation so I can stop taking the stuff without nearly dying. Maybe a "cross-over" plan (low dose of Valium while decreasing the K-pin, thereby lessening the heavy w/d effects).
I'm busy admitting to myself that I am bored. No - not exactly bored. Mis-placed. I come from a city where I raised our family, began volunteering when I was 14 and kept on volunteering until the kids grew up. I went to a large, inner-city high school with great friends I still have - but who are miles away now. Inner city college. Inner city jobs. Even the cafe (inner city) was a hub of activity - art, music, lots of music, thinkers, doers. A block from a university and never a moment when I had to watch the clock. My shifts flew by. I spent my life planning, cooking, baking, sewing, creating, taking care of, dah, dah, and dah. I freakin' sat in traffic every single day. Many times a day. "Oh, my Gawwwd, the traaafickk" *rolls eyes*
Then for one specific reason I had to suddenly move to a town. A town with a Main Street. So cute. Main Street. I like my apartment and people are friendly, I'm friendly. There's no traffic. I miss sitting in traffic! I miss seeing the heat rise off the cars in front of me and I miss the movement. I miss the dance of a city, it made me appreciate the trees more.
I miss my life.
I have to figure something out.
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