I am proud of you for recognizing and acknowledging that this is a both/and situation. recognizing it and acknowledging it is a huge step towards being able to respond to it in a healthy way.
Is there a way of sharing how whatever is happening is impacting you without telling what is going on with L?
In some of my posts I referenced awesome T doing something he is really excited about that will mean he will not be in contact with clients for 2 months. Instead of sharing that about awesome T I could put out there that I am feeling sad, abandoned, and super needy because I will not be able to have my usual contact with T.
A different example from a former T:
T shared with me today and now I am feeling jealous, insecure, and angry about what she shared. I am feeling like she will have less time for me or that it is going to change how she feels about me. I know she is going to be out of the office for a week and I am angry that I have to give up my time with her because of this (that was a T who was getting married)