The good thing about bridges, Scarlet, is that they can be rebuilt 🥰
Seeing something as both/and can be HARD! And accepting your feelings are valid and having different feelings for another human? Well, mind blown! I think (hope) it gets easier with practice so nice work on trying to do it here!
That's a good point your husband made... Maybe you can make some special self care time for yourself? Grab a cozy blanket, put on a good movie. Show the parts of you that need it all the love and compassion that you can.