So sorry this is happening to you. How awful.

I wrote something about dealing with abusive relatives in a post I made today called AN ABUSIVE RELATIVE. You might want to read that post for some ideas since pain in my hands prevents me from typing it out again for you.

Moving out seems like a good idea when you are able.

People often lack a sense of perspective. I know I do. It sounds as though your mother has lost perspective.

What I mean is this. Parents can exaggerate the goodness or badness of their children's behavior. Good and bad are not like positions on a light switch. Good and bad form a range of values.

There have been people who have done seriously bad things. Hitler and Stalin destroyed the lives of tens of millions of innocent men, women and children through genocide.

Now that is bad.

If there are things that bug your mother, they are not things you have done or do that cause the destruction of tens of millions of people, or millions of people, or hundreds of thousands of people, or tens of thousands of people, or thousands of people, or hundreds of people and so on.

So in the grand scheme of things anything you say or do that bugs your mother is something very minor. But it seems that in her mind she is falsely and unfairly making it seem HUGE when it is really very small.

Sometimes people with very low self-esteem project their self-hatred and self-loathing onto other people, especially relatives.

I am wondering whether deep down, your mother loathes herself and tries to free herself from this pain by projecting it on you. Do you think that might be the case here? Maybe I am wrong. I am often wrong about things.