Yes, ariesmars, 'why' indeed. I wish I had the answer to that question myself in regards to the workings of my own mind.

In the end, all I think we can really do, is to be honest, self honest, self aware, which you are, and basically learn ways to cope with these destiny's we've been given. I look at my life as a spiritual journey now, the opportunity to navigate through my world. As difficult and completely messed up as it has been a lot of the time, as long as I can come back to my inner 'path' and continue to grow - which I believe I am - then I feel okay about it.

Anyway, I hope you're going okay ariesmars. Take good care. Your post struck a chord with me.😌🙏