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I haven't read this entire thread, so forgive any disconnect.
None of your feelings are wrong - and the negative feelings you were having about yourself are the direct result of being mistreated/triggered by your t.
I'll tell you what. In all of my life I have never had the privilege of working at a job in which I can take time off whenever I want to, tend to my undone household chores instead of going to work, randomly schedule my work hours at my convenience...you get my point. In any job I've ever worked "the customer" always came first.
Too many therapists are disgusting in their work habits.
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