I am far less concerned about the logistical details right now, and I am far more concerned with the emotional side of the divorce process with an abusive narcissist.

Yesterday, it was ALARMING to me that he would even THINK of getting back together with me, after I've basically kicked him out TWICE now and he's had to move all his belongings out TWO TIMES.

In the midst of him bawling to me, he said "even after all of this, I would want to be back with you again".

I am ASTOUNDED.

IF I had been the one to move out twice and if I had been broken up with THREE different times, then I would be saying "no way am I doing that again". I wouldn't want to consider it because it would be so obvious that the other person is ambivalent, at best, and has shown that they don't truly want me in their life.

But him? He still wants to come back to me?????? WTF????????

I posed the question in my narc abuse forum on facebook: "Why do they hold on SO tight, and WHY do they refuse to let you go?"

The answers I am getting are all: "CONTROL".

Rejection for a narcissist is a narcissistic injury. They cannot be the rejected one, I've read - they have to be the one in control of the relationship, and they have to be the one calling the shots. They decide when they're done with you, and they decide when the relationship ends. If it's the other way around, it's a MASSIVE injury to their most fragile ego and false sense of self.

I've read that rejection for a narcissist is unacceptable. They live in disbelief that THEY can be rejected. They're SO full of themselves, how could anyone reject them?

So, this is why they hold on SO tight - for CONTROL over you and for CONTROL over the relationship ending.