You did what you felt was best to ensure a stable happy environment for your son. Your son is an adult now. You no longer need to Sacrifice your needs. Do not spend another birthday, holiday, dinner with your x. Explain to your son that you will be happy to have lunch/dinner with him to celebrate his birthday but that you will celebrate without his father in attendance. Period - end of story.

Your time is right now. Starting right now - take care of yourself by not putting yourself in a toxic environment and pretending that everything is OK.

Just explain to others that this is the way it will be. They might balk at first, but stand your ground and don't give in. Change is not easy but it is well past the time that you should be able to enjoy a holiday without your x in attendance.

all the best,