Forming lasting relationships is so difficult and can be a heavy burden to bear when one loves someone.

Part of the problem is that people are often motivated by unconscious needs that we are not aware of and that even they are not aware of. This makes it difficult and sometimes impossible to know how to act to clarify and solidify and grow a relationship.

This sounds very abstract so perhaps an example would help.

I was once trying to form a relationship with a girl with whom I had a connection. There was good chemistry between us and we shared the same values and interests generally speaking.

Sadly our relationship failed to work. Years later this woman told me that when she was a little girl she was neglected and felt unloved by her father, a man who had a beard.

She didn't realize it but subconsciously she seemed to be drawn to men with beards. I never had a beard and was clean shaven and at some level this sort of doomed our relationship.

I also learned that this woman went through many disappointing relationships with men with beards because her need to be with a man with a beard blinded her.

I think that perhaps people are often strongly pushed by unconscious needs and desires and that is maybe why relationships which would seem to be nearly ideal on paper never work out.

This girl you mention may be drawn to you for conscious or unconscious reasons. I think that if you are patient, kind and considerate to her, that is perhaps the best you can do to give the relationship every opportunity to form and mature.

When we love someone with a deep and sincere love, we want what is best for them. Ideally we would desire the other person to be with whoever makes them happy even if it isn't us.

Of course in the real world, such ideal love is hard to achieve because we want our needs to be met too and there is an inner battle between wanting what is best for us and what is best for the person we love.

I think you are doing the best you can in the situation you describe and I don't think I could do any better in a similar situation.

It seems to me that you are doing all the right things.

Hopefully things will work out for you. Sometimes the love we given another person is not returned but loving itself is a noble thing. When a person feels really loved, it helps them.

There is so much about love that is shrouded in mystery which is perhaps why there is an expression: "falling" in love. We do not just make ourselves love someone. It is something that just happens or doesn't.
People are often at the mercy of their conscious and unconscious desires and needs. Some people like apples. Some don't. Some like oranges. Some don't. This doesn't mean there is something wrong with apples or oranges.

That a person doesn't like us as much as we like them should not damage our self-esteem since personal preferences are not dictated by only conscious needs and desires.

Usually we love the people in our lives as much as we can. We cannot be blamed for loving them less than we would want them too.

If there are "techniques" for getting a person to love us the same as we love them, I don't know of any. Perhaps others here on the Forum with more knowledge, experience, insight and wisdom will see your post and respond to it with words more helpful than my poor words.

It is heartbreaking that you are suffering and I wish I knew how to help you lessen your pain! You are a good person and deserve to be treasured for who you are and have a life with peace and joy of living.