"Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser attempts to sow self-doubt and confusion in their victim's mind. Typically, gaslighters are seeking to gain power and control over the other person, by distorting reality and forcing them to question their own judgment and intuition."

How To Tell If Someone Is Gaslighting You | Newport Institute

Not remembering is gaslighting you, a form of abuse. Since she cannot remember, then in her perspective it never happened, and your perception of the interaction is denied any validation - therefore, she wins, and you lose. She cannot be called out, very conveniently, because she doesn't remember. And you lose your voice in the relationship.

The more you can educate yourself on abuse tactics, the better off you will be in recognizing that your wife is abusing you. I urge you to end this relationship. It is harmful to you.

My abusive narc husband always tells me I read into things and that I misinterpret his intent whenever he says something demeaning and disrespectful. NO. There IS NO misinterpretation - the comment is disrespectful. This is yet another form of gaslighting to get you to doubt yourself and your own perception of the abuse being inflicted upon you - it is all meant to confuse you and make you think it's on YOU, that they are innocent and that the problem lies with your own interpretation. That is brainwashing & manipulation - more abuse tactics.

PLEASE divorce this woman.