Well, I respectfully disagree. You fail to understand the true dynamic that goes on between the abuser and the victim of abuse. The victim ends up appeasing the abuser more often than they would like in order to keep the peace and avoid a blowout. It's like walking through a minefield not knowing if and when you may step on a landmine. So you do everything that you can to avoid their wrath. Which means compromising your own boundaries, values and sense of self. It is something that cannot be helped and is not the victim's fault. It's the sheer dyanamic of it all, created by the abuser. The abuser instills fear in their victim through intimidation tactics. By exploding over nothing, it creates an atmosphere of uncertainty, instability and fear. Which is the abuser's goal.

He forced me to pay constant attention to him through certain manipulative tactics. He forced me to cater to him in order to avoid his wrath or a landmine. If I wanted peace, I had to bend to his wishes more often than not.

It's a dynamic of power and control over the victim through fear tactics that the abuser creates.

Typically, I have felt very supported by you, but I think there is a communication disconnect here.