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eskielover
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Default Oct 29, 2022 at 09:27 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
Validation involves much more than simply verbally agreeing with what someone has done.

A deeper, more meaningful, and more helpful concept of validation involves validating the person, whatever they decide, through understanding, compassion, acceptance, support, nonjudgment.

The following comments are all validating. Notice that none of these comments involve approving of some decision that the person has made.

********

I'm here for you.

Call me anytime.

I'm so sorry for your pain.

Can you tell me more about what you are feeling?

What is going through your mind right now?

It sounds like you are trying to figure out what is best for your children.

These are hard decisions.

You still can see some good in your boyfriend.

It sounds like you are afraid that if you leave, you will be alone for the rest of your life.

Of course you are worried about what you can afford on your own.

It's scary to stay, but also for you it sounds scary to leave.

I know you can figure out what is best.

I have confidence in you.
IRL, I have tried the "I am here for you" & "call me any time" but many times people who need serious validation don't have a clue about what boundaries are. Then when you aren't there for their 3am calls every night because you are enforcing yiur own boundaries, they get angry because you said "any time". I refuse to even open the door to that kind of validation

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Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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