Spinning off this and other comments prior to it: I think there are two different things that we are talking about too.

1. Validating how someone feels
2. Validating someone's actions

There is no agree or disagree with someone's feelings. We feel how we feel. Emotions just are. They aren't right or wrong. If something happens and you feel a certain way, then that's just how you feel. It's not right or wrong. If someone posted "I feel this way. Is that right or wrong?" I will always validate them because emotions just are.

But if someone describes an action they took and then says "I need validation/support that I did the right thing." And I disagree with their actions or behavior, then I agree with others, I would abstain from commenting. I also dislike these kinds of questions because it sets up an echo chamber for the person. But I'm not going to disrespect their request if they only want to hear from people who agree with them.

But as I said in my previous post, it's not my place, nor is it helpful to force people into a place of recovery they aren't ready for yet. And people really have a hard time dealing with the fact that the hard work of recovery is on them - your abuser won't fix yourself for you. It sucks, but that's how it is.

I will say "call me anytime" to people who I am actually willing to provide that kind of support. And that's not a lot of people. I have very close friends who, if they need me in the middle of the night, yes, I will be there. But they have also been there for me in the middle of the night, and we are close. I have learned to set boundaries with people who are new friends or more of social friends (versus like the people who know all the details of my trauma, etc.) and limit their access to me. Like I would never say "call me anytime" to them.

I think in any moment we are offering support or thinking of offering support, we have to consider our own boundaries and what we are comfortable with. And that will be different for each of us. And it's all valid.