Yesterday was a very rough day.

I was alone and lonely and started to question my decision, thinking what have I done? I know, I know. I will NOT turn back this time around. But, I was missing companionship and someone who seemingly cares about me.

The reality is - HE never truly cared about me. All he cares about is himself. True to NPD, I was just a trinket to make him look good and a substitute mother to pick up after him and take care of him. I do NOT want this back, but I DO want companionship.

This weekend has been very lonely for me and is a wake up call to what my life now is like.

As I wrote above, the only positives are that he is no longer able to control my every move and criticize everything I say and do.

I woke up at 4:30 AM - it is now 5:00 AM. My sleep is off lately and I've been waking up very early like this. It's awful. I cannot sleep these days.