Thank you, everyone.

You're all anonymous to me.

I've purposely, over the years, swapped between saying we have 2 or 3 kids, swapped genders for one kid, and been a little elusive about where we live, all due to being scared of ever being identified from something someone read online.

But I've tried very, very hard to be honest about me, about my screw ups, my thinking, or whatever.

I have torn myself apart for years trying to figure out why I irritated the heck out of my wife, why nothing I said was right, or good enough, why it was like I was expected to be something more... Always.

Through this board, counselling, and some strong validation from coworkers during Covid of my attributes, and some strong validation from some friends and family of how deeply reliable I am when it came to caring for them, I finally started going... "Maybe its nit me, or at least not ALL me."

That has been the demise of my marriage.

Me saying, yes, I've screwed up, it's really hurt, I'm sorry, and it won't happen again, but let's also talk about what me and the kids need from you.

Right now, she's saying she'll stay if I apologize for everything, for ALL our issues in the last two years.

I can't accept that. My self worth these days won't let me.

Thanks for letting me talk. Thanks for listening. Thanks for insights, sharing, support. Thank you, each of you.

RDMercer