Learning that I am bipolar about 8 months ago has really changed my life. Both positively and negatively. It has helped me understand my limits and control my triggers and made me more self-aware in general. However, the setbacks in my life make it hard not to try and blame bipolar disorder on. I’m excelling at work but literally all of my relationships are deteriorating around me. I can feel relationships crumbling and me losing the people I love most in my life but I don’t know how to reverse it or stop. I feel like I’m stuck and I’m sad. Even in what I’m excelling in (work) I am filled with negative feelings and a longing to maybe even change careers. But if I lose everyone I love around me, plus my job, already my kids, about to be my boyfriend, how am I supposed to stay strong enough to continue moving forward? I have no motivation and I feel like a failure even tho everyone around me would say I’m not if asked. But I truly feel like one. I’m bipolar (medicated with mood stabilizer), depression and anxiety meds, and I smoke vape (tobacco) and weed everyday. Both my siblings are addicts of some kind ( weed edibles&or/opioids) and mother is unmedicated bipolar. Dad has major depression issues as well but is on and off medication. Parents are very supportive of me, I’m just sad.