Peppermint Patty,

Thanks for letting me know I am not alone! It often seems that no one has quite the same complaints about relationships, which only makes me feel more isolated.

Yes, most of the problems have been with other women, though the bullying I endured in my childhood came from both genders and primarily from kids of low-income families.

I agree that men tend to relate to each other through unique interests (whatever their career or hobby is) and women relate though superficial aspects of their lives that barely define who they are. I am in my late 40s, but the first time I started having major problems of obsessing over the poor behavior of other people was in my 20s. It was over the fact that my best friend started acting negative when I had a few accomplishments. I didn't want to think of her as jealous, I honestly couldn't see how someone who loves you could be jealous of you. She told me years later that that was
what she felt and she apologized.... she was actually apologizing as part of her own therapy to make up for the wrongs of her past. I accepted her apology, but still see signs of her jealous tendencies. It almost seems as if her behavior was the start of an avalanche of similar behaviors.

I agree that hanging around older women is easier than women my own age or younger, but I hate saying it. It sounds like a stereotype and I'm trying to keep an open mind to people in general. Something nags at me to shut the world off for fear of being hurt, so I'm fighting that nagging by trying to talk it out.