Welcome, Teachnbipolar1991!

It's extremely normal and common to feel as you do when first diagnosed with a significant mental health condition, like bipolar disorder. Please remember, though, that it is an illness, not a flaw or fault in those who deal with it. It is sad how it's common for those around us to rally around/support one with a physical illness, yet be repelled, in ways, from those with mental health challenges. It's all about stigma. Yes, it sucks, but we shouldn't be the one to punish ourselves for it. Should people who are at the receiving end of racism, homophobia, or sexism blame themselves for what they are? Indeed, dealing with the struggles of being ill or different are only exacerbated when there is stigma or a negative "ism".

Note that you are NOT bipolar disorder and never will be. You are you and there's a hell of a lot more to you than an illness struggle.

I agree with Tart Cherry Jam not to rush into a career change when you say you are doing well with what you're doing. Many people with bipolar disorder can't even manage a job, let alone excel at one.

The main goal for us in finding wellness is stabilize our moods, find ways to help ensure they stay stable and learn skills to get back to stable when the illness is out of our control again. And it can flare up despite our best efforts! When it does, it is not usually our faults. Stuff happens in life that we don't ask for. And learning and mastering coping skills and tactics takes time. You are at the early part of your journey in learning skills. Again, we've all been there. I can say that the learning and practice I reference does help over time. Patience is also often needed.