I'm sorry about your mother being that way, and that she refuses to try to find help. It definitely sounds like she needs help. She does not sound at all self aware. How wrong of her to turn on you and accuse you of being the abusive one, and not the men who have abused her. That says a lot about her level of dysfunction.

I think I read in another post that you've moved away and are living in another city. That's excellent self care.

Thinking of you and sending gentle hugs