In my opinion, this sounds like a kink. You seem to enjoy big, uncircumcised men, which I personally don't think is an issue. It is a shame that someone shared your interests over Discord, and then got doxxed. I don't believe you deserved that at all!

I personally don't think that you liking this kink is OCD. Typically for OCD, you need to experience some sort of "distress" or "negative emotion" as a result of getting unwanted thoughts, urges, emotions or sensations. However by the sounds of it, it seems like you get a positive reaction when you think of men that fit your kink. Of course, I'm not a psychiatrist, so you'll need to get a professional opinion to be sure.

However, it does sound like you have some sort of trauma from getting doxxed, as well as from childhood. I can see why you are scared of leaving your apartment, and hope that one day you'll recover. Some trauma can result in issues as well. A common one with hypersexuals is that they may have experienced sexual abuse when they were younger.

As for if it is unusual to ask if a guy is big and uncircumcised? By social norms, yes. Is it wrong to ask it though? Personally I would say no. If you ask in a nice way, it should not be an issue.

On a side note, it sounds like you don't have friends, since they judged you for this incident. If you want to, and are over 18, I'm more than happy to chat with you. I know that "keeping to myself" might sound helpful, but it really isn't. It will likely just make you feel drastically worse! I know this because I did it, and it was horrible.

I wish you the best of luck in your recovery!