(((((Resolved))))) I’m so sorry that you’re going through this right now. I do believe that I have been in your wife’s position, although I must confess that I did not share that information with my husband. We were going through some tough times, and we split up for a while. We remained in contact because of our kids, but in my mind the relationship was absolutely over, no way to save it.

Part of our problem was that we married very, very young, we weren’t fully cooked yet as a friend of mine would say. Our time apart helped each of us grow and rediscover who we were. We were able to speak freely about the mistakes we made because we were only friends now. That cleared up a lot of the baggage that we had been carrying around.

We started dating each other again, SLOWLY. There was no pressure or expectation. But we fell in love all over again. That was 14 years ago, and we’re still together.

I think the fact that she’s willing to work on the relationship says a lot, if my husband would have asked me to work on things back then I would have told him no. Be patient, honest, and yourself.