Quote:
Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer
Mind over matter must exist. Today I felt about as depressed as ever. I told my plant goodbye, went to bed feeling so strongly I would never wake up. While laying down I heard a voice say, "You will be purged." Immediately after hearing that I started sneezing, again, and again. It must have been at least 20 times. After awhile I woke up but I could my heart wasn't beating. That made me very happy thinking it was true I would end. I drifted off to sleep again and woke up feeling my heart wasn't beating. That happened a few more times, but I never ended.  What continued was the sneezing, every half hour an attack hit me like crazy. That was about 8 hours ago and the sneezing attacks are still happening but not as intense. Besides that I feel my normal self again. Just the normal depression. The all time low depression is gone. I was purged. |
Today is my 3 week celebration of not being suicidal and since hearing the voice that said "You will be purged," which caused an unimaginable amount of non-stop sneezing.
The present me can't even comprehend who that person was. I have the memories, but it seems and feels like a horror nightmare and not real. About 17 years of suicidal hell.
I was professionally diagnosed by a veteran psychologist with DID. He was really good, had a lot of passion for helping people and made a lot of effort to help me. Not perfect, but definitely the best overall psychologist I saw. I wonder what he would say about my recent experience.