I just came from my t, where she told me she cares a lot about me. NOOOOO!, I screamed in my head. Please don't tell me this. It ruins "the plan", the plan that if I could get everyone mad at me, and hate me, then I don't have to go on living. I just keep looking for a way out, which I suppose would make them mad. I am lost, and hopeless. "I can't do this (get better)", and no one seems to understand that.

I know there have been other threads on self-sabotage, but I don't know how to overcome it and not want to. Anybody have any ideas or can relate?