It's sad to know that others feel my pain about my hair type, but certainly knowing I'm not alone is comforting.

I haven't gotten to sleep before 2 or 3 am for several days now. It's very bad for me! I'm pushing too much. This morning I had a bit of a rage outburst. Not directed at anyone. It's rarely so. But directed at all of the challenges and frustrations I'm facing. And of course I feel guilty for even having such comparatively "little frustrations" when I think of what my brother is going through. And my sister who sees his pain every day. I'm delinquent about calling my dad and my siblings this week. I'm resistant, because it's so damn hard. Thinking that is also something I wrestle with, yet it doesn't motivate.

The other day, I finally got an appointment with a psychiatrist in the area. Unfortunately, it is not until February 1. This will be the longest I haven't seen a psychiatrist since before I accepted treatment over 18 years ago. A little scary, but at least I have a pdoc? And she is only 20/25 mins from our new property. My pdoc in the south will provide electronic refills. And I guess if there was an emergency he'd see me, but he's almost 2 1/2 hours drive away. Let's hope it doesn't come to the latter. It will soon the former, though. For some reason, he submitted an insufficient refill order for my Tegretol. I may run out of one or more others, too, before February.