@frommars I noticed your thread in the relationship forum about your mother. It’s good that you have distanced from her because she is a very unhealthy person. Just because we distance from a toxic environment or person doesn’t mean we are fixed or healed. Instead it gives us a chance to become self aware in terms of how a person or environment affected us.

It’s normal to have an insecure childlike part in self. It’s not uncommon to feel that to be around age 8 or 9 because it’s at this stage of development that we become more aware of how vulnerable we are.

It sounds like at age nine you experienced some stress at school about doing well. Then when you got home there was instability there too. It’s not unusual to experience these feelings even away from school and home. Understanding this gives each person a better understanding of self so they can slowly learn to build up ways to feel safer.