My mother is 80. She lives in a world bordered by CNN news and the supermarket out on Route 7.

She called this morning as I was praying. It was the usual diatribe about how the "world is falling apart." I didn't know what to say. Sometimes I try to change the topic to something more cheerful or, at least, neutral. Indeed, I tried the weather. But my head just wasn't there for this conversation this morning.

She is good at heart, is paying some of my bills throughout this long period of unemployment for me. At one point, I was so silent, she asked me I was still there, and I said yes. I know it hurts her feelings when her children don't respond (my brother has lapsed back into not calling her at all, pretty much since his phone message to me when I was suicidal telling me to just kill myself. She told him at that time to "leave your sister alone.")

I will make it up to her sometime when I am better able to keep up my end of a lively conversation, but I feel that I let her down, didn't treat her with the love and compassion I want to give myself and all people.

Also, I am not seeing any posts from IG and I feel really bad about what happened.

Thanks for letting me share this.