I feel all the things you are feeling about being single but for my 25 year old daughter who is on the autism spectrum. No first kiss, no boyfriend, no first date, no friends except for acquaintances with providers with appointments. I cant explain why I feel this way, but all that you feel I can empathise and feel. I guess its because I see people together and I crave that for my girl. I have my own mental health and anxieties. I just want her to have that person that has her back and gets her as she is. I hope you will be ok and that feeling you talk about it feels physical doesnt it? I wish you love and peace my dear.