Beth, you said

Are you trying to encourage your children to take your side, or "see" your side of things?

No. I haven't done that.

Recently the kids began talking to me a lot. They said they didn't think I'd listen to them say stuff against Mom.

I have felt insane and on eggshells for years. Unprovoked, the kids said a bunch of stuff that made me go...

Wow. I'm not crazy. Someone else sees it too.