I have times when I can feel everything you just said, and times that I can't. Today I can't. A couple of days ago I felt stronger.

There are things she says that hit me because they are true... Or kind of true.

Did I fail to support her after her most recent surgery. YES. But I received so many late night beratings that I couldn't stay in our room anymore.

Did she fail to get the deep emotional support she needed from me in the last two years. YES. Because I began to protect myself more because I could no longer be functional as a worker and parent and take that much anger any more. I couldn't be as patient as she needed and take that anger. I was breaking.

Did I violate her trust by lying and watching p0rn. YES. But it was 10 years ago and it can't be the topic that wins every argument since.

Have I failed, gotten angry too quickly, missed a key moment to be supportive multiple times. YES. I'm human, and I'm stretched thin. I've also gone for really, really long stretches without a single positive word from her.

Did I say stuff, or ever roll my eyes or use the wrong tone, when talking to one of the kids about Mom. YES. I have had moments, MOMENTS, of weakness. I have also bottomlessly supported her and failed to give the kids what they needed.

Did I go reasonable ($150 budget for gift and meal yesterday), instead of big, and did I fail to finish cleaning the bathroom. YES. She's divorcing me, we have a car that needs a ton of work just to keep getting to work in it, and my arm is wrapped up. I did what I could.

I talked to my pastor a few months back and divulged all my sins and wrongdoings. He responded with, You're a good man. I see it here at church, I see it in how much your kids love you, I see it in how affectionate you are with them, and I see it with how easy and natural that all is. I cried so hard. Writing about it I'm crying. He heard all my sins all my questions about myself and told me I was a good person.