Dear T,
My friend helped me piece together a few things from today's session. I think we've hit on something (between your insight, hers, and mine). Part of me wants to email and be like, "oh! oh! I've got it!" but I will just wait until we meet Wednesday.

Gonna type it here though: What I was trying to say about your being OK with my crying--it's that you can tolerate it (her words). My mom (and dad) could not (and still cannot)--same with D's emotions. H seems to have trouble with tolerating it/me at times, too. Ex-MC, he comforted me and normalized those emotions in many ways. So it felt nurturing. I craved that. And I look for that from you at times, I think, even knowing you aren't likely to give true comfort, just validation. But I think tolerance and validation are really what I need. And this ties into my fear of being a burden, of being "too much" for you (or for anyone).

And, hm, maybe there's more paternal (maternal?) transference going on with you than I'd realized.... Might not mention *that* part to you!

Love,
LT