Quote:
Originally Posted by *Beth*
I think what it is, is that the cold here is damp. I mean, we're a coastal state. My mom, a born and raised Californian who moved to NYC when she was 19 (married my dad, a native of Brooklyn), absolutely despised the weather here. She said that the east coast cold was very dry, whereas the cold here is damp. "It goes right through your bones" is what she'd say.
Anyway. Today marks 5 years since my daughter has communicated with me. No, she does not "hate" me (someone on the forum once PM'ed me and said that). She just tells my husband that she and I were too close, she needed to be on her own, and "needs time." She's living in NYC, going to univ for her Ph.D. She's very busy and doing well. She has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder 1 (essentially, mania). But, she is committed to therapy and follows her medication needs exactly. The most recent thing she's told David, when he told her he wishes she would call me, is that "I'm so busy, I'm not really focused on calling Mom now."
Needless to say, I'm not having the best day so far. Lots of anxiety. I grieve for her, just to hear her, hug her, kiss her soft cheek. Go shopping like we used to do. But I recognize that those times are very special memories. So for now...if only I could just hear her voice.
I'm afraid of the night that will come in less than 3 hours. I'm afraid everything will go wrong. I'm terrified of losing more loved ones. I'm just so scared of everything, and so tired of feeling this way.
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I can’t imagine not being able to talk to Amanda. I know that’s so very heartbreaking for you
Have you ever considered keeping a journal of letter to her? Maybe that will help literally putting things on paper .. just a thought
Glad your weather finally cooled off altho that brings the hot cold issues.
Much love
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