You said, "I told T I feel like a sentence has been passed in my inner kingdom and the sentence is guilty and I am to be found and sentenced to death for my crime of being me."

I appreciate how you stated your feelings with that comment. It really struck a cord with me--about how "wrong" it feels for me to even exist as a human being. This is something I am working on now and, at times, I feel better about it. I hope you stick with therapy so you can work through this...I hope you can come to realize you are an important, loving human being who deserves to not only live, but be happy.